If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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