you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
