kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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