My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
