Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have tasted many bathrooms
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
