so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
All I want is dick and wine.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
