she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize