Life is so much better after having sex.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
