It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
