When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
