Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
