She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
