Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This is the prime rib incident all over again
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
