he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
