all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
