listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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