it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize