I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
