Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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