It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need to calm my uterus...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
