we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
