you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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