i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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