why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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