I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize