That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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