I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
