Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
