Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
