my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
