I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
