i don't like sucking hair
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
