The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
