There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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