never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We had sex on a dog bed..
my poor anus
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize