My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize