I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
