i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
