He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
