Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
