Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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