Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize