chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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