Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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