Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
