I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
