He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
