I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
