Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.

(713): View more from Texas

I'm coming over.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex

Fav 20 4597 710
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(518): View more from New York

im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.

Fav 14 4826 1463
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(307): View more from Wyoming

first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

Fav 14 6360 1447
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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.

Fav 15 5064 1132
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(519): View more from Ontario

I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer

Fav 4 1441 1861
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(512): View more from Texas

I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective

Fav 8 1880 910
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.

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(972): View more from Texas

His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.

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