Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
