i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Randomize
