You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
