uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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