he puts the penis in happiness.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
