She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
