why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You ruined the universe
Randomize