shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
